I’m getting a lot more than I planned on from this course, which is kind of a strange thing to say because I was really sure what to expect (if that makes any sense?). I guess I thought I’d learn how to become a more effective communicator, but I didn’t realize that I would be reflecting so much on my own IPC. Not sure if I thought it would just be a type of “manual” or “guidelines” to improve my communication or what-but I wasn’t planning on learning so much and putting it to practical use immediately. Building relationships with our “teams” has demonstrated in concrete examples what we are learning and how it actually works, especially around “nexting” and “tension” in our dialogues. The whole idea of “nexting” is not something that I ever gave much thought to before this class and didn’t realize how it is something that we are constantly engaging in, either consciously or unconsciously.
My most valuable lessons so far was learning how to let others control the “tension” in dialogue. In order to do that I had to let go of the “tension” line and let someone else hold the ropes. Primary tensions are mentioned in the article on “Dialogue’s Basic Tension” by Zediker and Stuart. They say that “our own communication experiences have taught us that moments of dialogue emerge most often when the people involved maintain one primary tension-the one between letting the other happen to me while holding me own ground….this means that you let someone happen to you when they allow who they are-especially their differences from you-to touch ,connect with, and influence you.” This I learned in our teams. In order for me to accomplish some of the things necessary with the assignments I needed to sit back and “inhale” what others were saying. I felt intimidated by being so lost about how to navigate through this course at times-but allowed myself to let go of the ropes and have someone lead me.
When I reflect upon my own IPC I realize that I typically control the tension lines in my regular communications. I’m used to being in a position of “pushing”. My motive seemed to be to keep the conversation flowing. Now I’m realizing that maybe it was my way of controlling the conversation, commonly known to me as talking over other people. As Steph says in her lecture regarding “nexting”, <a href=“http://aplaceinspace.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/continuing-to-converse/”>Steph’s comments.</a>, “The point is that we are always and forever joining conversations in the middle, and there are a lot of people who want to influence how the conversation turns out.” It made me think about how often that also occurs when we are communicating with each other and through wordpress in this class.
On the concept of “tension”, Cakeisalie said “my teammates seem to all be willing to do what it takes to get the assignments done with the least amount of friciton.” <a href=“http://ohnothecakeisalie.wordpress.com/2008/08/from-mayhem-to-peace-of-mind/”>Cakeisalie’s comments.</a> I think that we are all on the same page and want things to go smooth, individually and collectively. We are actively demonstrating that through our on going communications. It is seen in our desire to help each other and willingness to communicate ad clearly and as openly as we can. This is what has reduced the chances of the wrong type of tension from our group. Outerbodyboi wrote about how there seemed to be a type of mutual respect in the air for our team and said, “Sometimes you can‘t speak your mind without getting on someone‘s nerves.” <a href=“http://outerbodyboi.wordpress.com/2008/10/so-far-respectful/”>outerbodyboi’s comments.
I know what he means, I don’t want to offend anyone with my IPC. Through my communications in posts and chat I try to be careful and thoughtful of my choice of words. I don’t want to exhale something that could be misinterpreted and alienate myself from anyone in the group. Outerbodyboi(from the same link) continues on to say “I am curious to see how long this behavior lasts, and I think it could be there for the remainder of the group.” I don’t think there’s anything that would make it change either. I honestly feel that we are headed in the right direction and feel lucky to engage in this learning experience with my teammates.
